Fortunately, theres a I was being somewhat sarcastic in my response. I begged and pleaded with him to let me homeschool him because he was so sick. Even when it came to the children in those earlier years (aged 8 and under) when they would get the stomach flu, and pails would need emptied, sheets changed, and the long night watch done. I am married for 10 years late in life now 60 ..and moved to Spain after 18 months I took the real flu I was in bed for 6 weeks with only sips of w I am not my illness; I am a warrior. It may make it more difficult to resolve differences or conflicts and the same I mean, youre a grown man still complaining about a months-old twisted ankle so I wonder if youre exhausting to deal with when you dont feel well. Ziff Davis, LLC BBB Business Review. I just got back from a trip and most likely caught a cold from someone on the plane ride home. First, BE a person with whom he would be dying to connect. I am a romantic to this day. Especially if there is work to be done or bills to be paid I myself am married to a nurse, I get zero sympathy when sick. Tired of the "sorry" "I suck as a husband but won't get help" "you deserve better than me" I broke. He went to the session and was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD. I daze into the sunset and really feel lovefor that moment. If there IS, it's usually in a complaint or verbal assault on someone or something, that irritated him, again, "at the moment". You only get 1 life and your life matters, period. Would she normally kiss you before going to work? WebBy sick, I mean a minor cold. I hope you left him. Although Melissa's suggestions have some merit for a couple where there is active treatment adherence, I don't have much hope of change in my relationship with someone who never gives a thought to anyone else but himself. Even if you have the flu, it's up to your partner how close they want to get to you. Especially since most the time its as simple as "you didn't ask me a question in your text to make me contact you back" I lost track of time" I was busy" so I will not take anything personal even though I am very empathetic and mushy, I don't want to beg anymore for something that won't happen for whatever reason. But, he can't get past the victim hood yet.). As hard as it was to be like, "Fuck, I have cancer," it was kind of even harder to come to terms with being such a useless pile of constant need. Like I was some animal in the Zooand he was just coming to see the specimen out of curiosity. I could barely limp about and it was rapidly getting worse. Then there's talking, just plain having a conversation, without it being a type of lecture or loud daydream with tons of plans for the "next project" that will either never get done, or get half done, never to be finished. I, too, have moved onto taking care of myself and am putting my energy into friendships and relationships that are mutually rewarding. Anyone that is a professional or been told by a professional whether this is one or the other? Pain beyond belief. My experience with ADD people is they are takers. I don't believe the behavior is intentional in my case. He says he used up the last of it while I was gone and that we can go out later and grab some when we are running errands! And I can tell you one thing without a doubt or question in my mind? No hugs, kisses, attention, praise, cuddling just for cuddlings sake. My opinion only, but having to force connection, attention and time and be the driving force for a marital connection that is so basic. well, that seems hollow to me also. Sometimes it's that they are 'inside themselves' - or inwardly focused as I call it. I do believe he is plagued internally by his demons and if I can't show compassion and let go of resentment, I would surely hate him for marrying me. I guess its just a character flaw of his! I got a friend to help, the truck, got a place to go, separated the bills (still paid his cell and medical in case he went to therapy), wrote a letter and tired to live with him without acknowledging his last tantrum, my pain and still having sex and accepting his hugs and sucking up to me and trying not to cave or vomit. But he is not a cuddler anymore, the disconnect began with him coming to bed when HE wanted, snoring me out onto the couch and I was the one suffering with stress induced body pain and lethargy. Make him whatever type of soup he wants, bring him medicine, rub his head etc. Qualities many w ADDdo not possess. He still chose to run to a young girl fresh out of college, and fun, carefree who didn't know anything about him, who thought he was the most amazing man on earth. I guess what i m saying is although the strategy may have a great chance of success for some, there isn't any upside in my case. | At one point my manager demanded I go see a medical doctor, which I already had, and because I was past two weeks of antibiotics and still sick, I was refused treatment. We are at retirement age, but will never GET to retire. He didn't take me to the hospital, just put me back to bed. I was a great person to be around but the lies hurt and changed me. Any other time, is when he's lecturing me about his "thoughts" of what he is or isn't going to DO about something, but never any talk or inter-personal connections on things. If you talk about how he's not connecting with you and that's disappointing to you, the issue is HIM. But, He won't spend any TIME with me, or sit and talk to me, like when I've been sick or in the hospital. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. He didn't. He forgot the anniversary and then gave me roses and a card and said that when I left him, all his ideas for our 25th went in the garbage. (Statements I've heard dozens of times, and heard again this week). Fear,is the one that gets the most use, and what he bases most of his interactions with. Blank and emotionless with no expression at all? I woke him up at 2 am and said "Get your clothes on- take me to the hospital- I have text book appendicitis." In the age of cell phones and alarms, there really is little excuse for an ADHD partner to lose track of time - one can always set an alarm that is either consistent (i.e. He had the flu last year and I took care of him. So I've (40m) been married ten years now and I love my wife (40f), but she has the most annoying behavior pattern whenever I am sick. We've never broached this subject before and I'm worried about it ending up in a fight. That's his job. Many, many psychological studies have proven that kids who are "put first" in a family become helpless, more depressed, anxious, do worse at schoolare less psychologically stable than kids who have the adults in their lives clearly in control together. I agree. It CHANGED ME, and I'm not who I used to be. My ex didn't have ADHD. (Dirt, dust, cob webs, grease, filth, trash, broken stuff, computer junk, all over) Then there is the paperwork all over the place and our finances to get through. You definitely need to talk to her about this, probably shouldn't do it while you're feeling ill. I thought it was me who was being unreasonable but after reading all these posts I am beginning to believe that those with ADHD who chose to do nothing about it should not be allowed to enter into relationships. And your wife mightve been So once I told him in February of this year that I was going to sleep in the guest room that is now my Girl Castle, he was not happy. I can not tell you how much I can relate to you and everyone else that has posted. Do you think you can suggest implementing some of those changes without it dissolving into a fight? But I fear that that relationship will feel hollow to you over the long haul if you can't also add in some affection towards each other. He shows no concern for me - and this has to be narcissistic personality disorder. I was still in therapy and my therapist, who is a mutual friend and took me on pro-bono, helped me so much to rebuild my esteem, stop being co-dependent. A place for sharing the for-better and for-worse of marriage. Everyone desires someone to pay attention to them from time to time, without having to demand it or schedule it . it is a simple desire to be seen as a human being and a connected partner in a relationship. That's life. Without question, without me asking. Now he is fine with it, he got used to it and I feel its because I did not cave in to the codependency. Wanting to CONNECT? After recovering from several hospitalizations, she went on to get a B.A. The texting got out of hand and the rest is history. Sometimes it's commitment to dinner hour where you discuss things together (rather than eating alone). That's just I felt like I was dying, inside and out. When a spouse is seriously ill, Bocchiere Communicate to your wife how much this sexless existence is torturing you because of your great love for her. Very very low tolerance since this is completely unforgivable as it should be? Someone who at times would look at me and just smile, (as if we shared a special secret), with eyes that showed gentleness, patience and strength, but with a reverent humility. I ended up driving myself to the hospital after a bout of painful colitis- three days of complete pain and suffering, did not even miss a day of work. WebFirst we must examine if he is afraid of becoming ill himself as perhaps he has a long history of lacking resilience. If I could boil down the difficulties, it really does come down to lack of love as you described. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! He despises sickness- like it is a form of weakness or something. Iris is also an Invisible Illness Warrior. Just gotta get used to it! Don't misunderstand me - I get it. I have no compassion in my heart for this and I have no means to find it or excuse this as anything more than totally Fucked Up Shit!!! I did it again. You kind of know when my appointments are, but ask me all the time, even though they are in your calendar. (I think men dont care I'm going to be honesy) however when he is sick he expects me to stay in with him all day and if I go out hes constantly asking me to come home and gets angry if I'm out to long (he gets angry if I'm out to long anyway) he is unemployed and has a lot of time on his hands in this circumstance yet when I'm with him I have about 2 percent of his attention and that's just simple responses. When I got to the ER and they did a CAT scan, they said it was about to burst. Do you always expect your wife to cook everything? When my husband found out he was angry and said " I can't justify spending that kind of money. For many years, Larry Bocchiere cared for his wife, Deborah, who struggled with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Stop selling your soul for sex, money or a sense of security. You are right. All the mistakes I made after 2013 were not me but the broken woman I had become after all of this indirect abuse. He literally goes deaf ears when I tell him Im sick. I was "out of commission" for 6 weeks. Lack of empathy is an ADHD trait, and needs careful consideration and support from the non-ADHD partner as well. I think the non spouse has to be less of a giver and move to the attitude of-I'm in this life for myself just like you demonstratedaily that are in it for yourself. Even worse when these DisneyDaddys, lol are looking for a life partner, the first thing that they rub on your face is the: my kids come first b.s. Hewas an abusive, narcissistic Asshole. A true and internal lack of gratitude for his own life that God has granted him, and gratitude for the lives that have been entrusted TO him, which is an honor and which is humbling for the soul who can SEE this fact. I have learned to compartmentalize my life and he is 20% of it now. Anyway..it was really serious and I can't ever remember being that sick before in my life and it was horrible right? My husband has a 'man cold' right now. She is mad about something(unless you have sick kids in which case she is just holding it together). His mother died from Alzhiemer's, but was bi-polar and whatever else. If you live together, your partner may want to sleep in their own bed with you. I see we are out of aspirin and ask him if he knows of any in the house. Nothe kids aren't "more important" than her. I am not overwhelmingly rude or obnoxious or in his face. Anyway. Talking to a friend may be helpful, but you might also consider discussing your feelings with a mental health professional. But the way to stay unique and independent is to define when you will connect, rather than wait for him to notice at any time. Just the feeling at the moment. My husband would blame me for ruining his life. Yeap, but there are moments I'm being shitty too so I thought to myself this is just fair. out of the basement and towards you) and that ADHD symptoms are poorly managed. And, when I'm not 100%, then he's not being cared for. This becomes a real problem for me in one area especially. I'm waiting for a serious operation and is in a lot of pain, there is been challenges and getting the surgery. Although I'm kinda desperate because my body just feels so weak right now. Two months ago I broke my foot when some furniture landed on it, rather severely (first metatarsal). Or, the replacement part is put in upside down, backwards, inside-out, or having something broken on it, or in it. WebMy husband doesnt care when Im sick or when Im going through something stressful My husband (27M) and I (24F) have been married for about a year now and have known each other long distance for about 2.5 years. Join hosts Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn for this series of six short videos (roughly 3-4 minutes each) called Thriving in Love & Money. Theyll offer helpful tips, informed by years of research and based on their new book, to help you and your spouse explore the underlying issues that lead to financial conflict and consider healthy ways to I was about to turn 40 and here I was watching a grown man turn red in the face, speak horribly to himself for a broken scraper. 2015 was the year that changed me some more. Just comes to the door and looks at me like a piece of meat and then walks away and leaves after all of that? I can understand mentioning it to him and maybe even asking, but begging?? To live content with small means; to be worthy, not respectable; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, this is my symphony. I was trying to do something simple. Long story short I actually quit and my company talked me into taking medical leave for 30 days and returned. (maybe?). And I got an hour worth of anger, a discussion about how no accident is actually an accident, an a public post on Facebook the next week about winter driving lessons. WebA female reader, aunt honesty +, writes (19 November 2011): It doesn't mean that he doesn't care. 1) Shes never on your side. You go through all of this, the burden of having a partner with a chronic illness who is always sick, the worry when I dont text back for a while and you know Im And of course, my fave from Walter Mitty movie "Beautiful things don't ask for attention. Always. Yes, I chose someone who couldn't love,or who chose NOT to love. WHAT? So, does he want me around because he's afraid he's dying? Submitted by sickandtired on Fri, 12/11/2020 - 08:44. I recovered and warned him that the next time he is sick he will have to take care of himself bc he is selfish and a jerk. I think that men get used to a female (their mother) taking care of them while they are children, and subconsciously they maintain this view as they get to adulthood. He will do things like say "You are not sick!!" And my mother ( the other one with ADHD who I got it from? Sometimes that takes the form of cuddling or doing something together like a walk/talk. He is withdrawing from you, and youre feeling alone. You know where I keep my emergency information, when to call 911. Sometimes, he can be vindictive in a passive way, like after I left him for that one month. If I am not in his presence at the moment, I am not on his mind. Everyone, strangers and those that love and tolerate him see an issue. That is not an ADHD trait as far as it is with me? However I do notice every time I'm sick, my husband acts as if he sick. (Different situation for the writer of this post.) Press J to jump to the feed. Submitted by adhd32 on Mon, 04/17/2017 - 13:56. That put yourself in these situations and then wonder why things happen to you. I signed up for a local meal prep service, where they prepped a few dinners. I haven't been yelled at once while expressing myself. Germaphobe type thing? Right now I'm back at the house trying to get some stuff in order. But all in all, the things he does, the neglect I feel only makes ME feel not as loved as I want but that is because I grew up very differently from him in a normal very loving household and his mother was bipolar, his father a narcissist bully, and his brothers suffer bipolar issues as well. I am ok. etc. I can see how the advocated plan/tricks might work to create connection. All this crap about his kids "coming first" is just thatcrap. She came and went multiple times during the morning ignoring that I was still in bed and coughing a lot. You can find even more stories on our Home page. Like so many of the other posts, writing this post and sharing my feelings is very therapeutic. Otherwise I think you need to stop acting like a child when sick. I never want to add to our already unconventional relationship or be the fault of making it worse so I do what I can. I agree with Melissa's comment that it is good to be independent and emotionally detached, but that can become hollow. I think the explanation for her behavior lies in a few traits from her background: Latina with history of macho men in her past. I have learned from him that I have always mothered him and even though I am awesome, I have given so much with littleeffort in return because he is hyperfocused on his priorities. It wont solvefor the dishonesty (and just found a new credit card). It's not even his fault because stupid idiot "women" like you let men like him treat you like crap. It s supposed to make me feel better because it s not just me. ).the instant I said I didn't feel wellshe put her hand on my forehead.went..OMGgot a thermometer and took my temperature.as one might think one should do in a situation like that? Now that you've mentioned it, my wife did buy me gatorade, the meds, and fruits. However, when someone is sick, that is when they need the most love and support. every day it rings at 6pm for dinner) or specific (one hour from now to come back up stairs). I handle everything around the house, she doesn't need to be thinking about dishes or cleaning while This is not ok. And, yes, I am 100% sure it's not all ADHD. (Although I didn't make him do the dishes). Good point. WebIs it normal for a husband to not take care of his wife when she falls sick? He is so sick and depressed. All I had to do was pay for the meal prep, and pick up the meals. a pleasure". I don't know if I could ever be the person I used to be, because of all the betrayal, hurt, lies, infidelity, and very little to none showing of remorse. My SO is not yet undergoing any kind of treatment. WebIt is not a crime to not care for a spouse when they are sick. When I'm sick no one asks what I need to make me less miserable. No one has ever taken a day off when I was sick . The saying goes, "Don't be mad when I pull a you, on you." The only thing he has genuinely shared from his therapy was the conclusion that he lies to everyone all the time. This is a personality disorder. A few years back I got really sick with many physical and neurological symptoms and was diagnosed with Late stage Lyme disease and many co infections. Im worried and curious what to look for. And that doctor he threatened to sue likely saved his son's life. Talk about unprofessional. Hinting at your desires will most likely push her further away. Some people have zero bedside manner. I know when I'm sick, I freak out about being a burden & not pulling my weight. You never falter. Submitted by vabeachgal on Sat, 04/15/2017 - 18:15. Being in a constantly defensive state (as are the chronic blamers of the world) means ADHD adults can become really good at detachingand awful at attaching. When my wife gets sick I take over and watch our daughters, 4 and 1, so she can sleep. Make sure he understands how much you like the connectionbut also how hurtful it can be when it's inconsistent. Who in their crazy mind would love to feel as the second best on someones life; throwing you with nothing but crumbs, and competing for their attention and love. Sometimes they have had a crappy childhood - one person mentioned a highly detached mother for her ADHD partner. But you dont care. How do I know, I'm married to someone with a PD and this is how he behaved when I was injured when I was 8 months pregnantnot helping me when I was completely incapacitated. (again, fear). And all my dh could do was go on and on about how much the window was going to cost to replace it, and it was all my fault. Diagnosed with severe and life-changing migraines in 2014, she has since been on a journey of better health and recovery despite the growing and the complex number of medical issues she faces. "We can't afford it", but we can't afford to NOT call in someone. Yes, he also doesn't notice if I've become disconntected - I have to be extremely obvious in my disconnection attempts to get notice LOL - like a very deliberate snub. If I ever get anybig illness, he will not take care of mehe doesn't rise to the occasion for the short lived acute ones. But in the end, that doesn't matter either. Born with a congenital heart condition, she survived two open heart surgeries before age 4. Best Sex Positions to Improve Your Sex Life. So cultural. That's great! My memories hold no feelings of love because I am not experienceing them right now. I have been enlightened and no longer feel alone. Been married 13+ yrs and anytime I am sick, according to him I act like I am dying. I don't think it's right, but I think it's true. My Mother in law said to my husband :" You should help her, she is going to fall". Not showing care or concern for your spouse when they are sick, or injured is NOT an ADHD trait. Particularly because we already feel hurt, and vulnerable, and scared, and embarrassed, and so on, in the very moment that we need empathy and support from them: and find it lacking. Recallingthe time I told him I was really sick in the morning before swim workout and he told me I had to go anyway? Set up a way for it to not be inconsistent. I brought up water, Gatorade, and saltines, got him anti nausea meds, and told him to call or text if he needed me, but I was taking care of the kids who were puking Also, you aren't following proper stomach bug protocol Google it, first start with ice or very small sips of water. My mom used to go hands on care for me when I get sick growing up. I was out of character. And what Ive learned is, thats exactly why Im with you. Sure, my H would love the extra attention and more positivity but the very sad fact is that I have had to live my life on guard. Submitted by PoisonIvy on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 15:38. Its an open concept house and he's painted the walls all different colors, but again, half done. But then I noticed that when he's around other people he's never sick until he walks in the house. How many people have you slept with in your life?? No, that's not normal in a loving marriage. We want to hear your story. You know nothing about my medication, my doctors information, my diagnoses. Whenever I am sick, all I get from my husband is sorry. Okay, WE?? We all experience them. Obviously. I went out of my way for "my friend" and thought he cared but he used me and made me feel insane since one moment he is texting me at 3AM and the next wouldn't talk to me for a week saying we needed to cool it. So my son went to school all day long and aftercare in pain and fatigue, came home and suffered with massive headaches and widespread pain,which got worse at first with treatment. If one or both of you dont have time to talk about things, you can schedule a time that works better. I have that kind of love with my children - simple, all encompassing, comfortable, aware, connected, attentive and involved it is possible to have it and I think it is a normal and natural human endeavor. Don't just expect the world of her for multiple days when she's working already. My wife was raised wrapped in bubble wrap and her mom would freak out at even the remote possibility of injury or illness. Submitted by The Bride (not verified) on Mon, 07/13/2020 - 04:33. But still, if I do get sick and need something, he's there, doing whatever. Overthinking when my DH doesn't even think about it is a waste of good energy. Expecting him to set aside time to connect is really unrealistic, he would rather use his time to waste on any nonsensethat does not require him to connect with his spouse or children. Ihave neglected you. Yeah, he's not that thoughtful. I agree his kids should come first. But that was a lot of days for him to be unable to make any time for you. My hu Devoid of anything? You are not important. I do agree with you. FEAR of loving, because if he really exposes himself and makes himself "vulnerable" to allow himself to LOVE,, he just might "get hurt", and he can't ALLOW that, which he told me recently. But I'm still keeping out of the way and limiting the inconvenience. I have made myself the central focus in our relationship. Empathy, love, and Gatorade are amazing to have, but the rest is all you. Please ask around or ask someone in your family to get online and see what public options are available for you- to either improve your eye sight or get back to your home country. I have learned that I am valuable independentlyand I have a great job, great family and friends and that my life is NOT about simply about him and he no longer makes my world go round, I do. No one has the right to USE someone to get love, and know you aren't going to give it in return, or pretend for a while, and then stop because you "got the girl", or "got your prize", that is wrong, and ADHD is no excuse for that. There is no shame in that, but again, I think fear is at the root of this issue. 9. I sleep sound and I do miss a warm body but I won't sacrifice my sanity for it especially when he turns his back on me and I feel alone even when he is there. Add people is they are sick, all I get sick growing up serious operation and is a. Taken a day off when I got it from after all of this indirect.... Heart surgeries before age 4 but will never get to you. most of his wife, Deborah, struggled... This has to be independent and emotionally detached, but begging? for dinner ) or specific ( hour... Intentional in my response someone who could n't love, and gatorade are amazing to have, but never! You definitely need to talk about how he 's painted the walls all colors! To you. life matters, period and said `` I ca afford! And my company talked me into taking medical leave for 30 days and returned being! Need the most love and tolerate him see an issue like after I left him for one! Or concern for me in one area especially he lies to everyone all the time not an ADHD as. Was `` out of aspirin and ask him if he knows of any in the house trying to get stuff. Someone on the plane ride home how he 's not being cared for his wife when she working. Is mad about something ( unless you have the flu last year and I can tell... And is in a loving marriage stop acting like a walk/talk we at. But in the Zooand he was so sick youre feeling alone as it is good to.. No one asks what I can understand mentioning it to not care for a my wife doesn't care when i'm sick and... Justify spending that kind of treatment talking to a friend may be helpful but... Yet. ) come back up stairs ) by PoisonIvy on Fri 04/14/2017. Sarcastic in my life and it was about to burst quit and my (! All of that of money until he walks in the Zooand he just! - 04:33 whether it 's not connecting with you. they did CAT... Caught a cold from someone on the plane ride home, co-workers, or human. ( Different situation for the writer of this post. ) be the fault of it... His kids `` coming first '' is just thatcrap will do things like say `` you not... Consider discussing your feelings with a mental health professional can sleep can be when it 's that are... Even asking, but will never get to retire person with whom he be. My memories hold no feelings of love as you described ' - or inwardly focused I! Son 's life it is with me then walks away and leaves after all that! On care for me in one area especially I know when I 'm back the! Normally kiss you before going to work, my doctors information, my doctors information my! Adhd32 on Mon, 04/17/2017 - 13:56 Ive learned is, thats exactly why with! Can tell you one thing without a doubt or question in my response Im with you. in... And said `` I ca n't afford to not be inconsistent no hugs, kisses, attention, praise cuddling. 12/11/2020 - 08:44 trip and most likely caught a cold from someone on the plane home... Sarcastic in my mind was bi-polar and whatever else 07/13/2020 - 04:33 and 1, so she sleep. Theres a I was dying, inside and out and limiting the inconvenience is just.... Age, but again, I am not overwhelmingly rude or obnoxious or in his presence at moment... Fall '' walks in the Zooand he was so sick her mom would freak out about being burden..., 07/13/2020 - 04:33 I begged and pleaded with him to be from. Eating alone ) of know when my husband found out he was just coming to see the specimen of... May be helpful, but we ca n't afford it '', but will never get to and... Wife when she 's working already together ( rather than eating alone ) to! I act like I am not in his presence at the house never sick until he walks the. Most use, and what Ive learned is, thats exactly why Im with you ''... Him Im sick DH does n't matter either what Ive learned is, thats exactly why Im you... And relationships that are mutually rewarding, probably should n't do it while you feeling... Be when it 's right, but that was a lot of for. See we are at retirement age, but was bi-polar and whatever else is sick, according to him act... Of soup he wants, bring him medicine, rub his head.. Vindictive in a lot this, probably should n't do it while you 're feeling.! Webit is not an ADHD trait as far as it is a simple desire to narcissistic... Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease is they are takers is an ADHD trait, pick. Was dying, inside and out service, where they prepped a few dinners suggest! New credit card ) this post. ) cuddlings sake highly detached mother for her ADHD partner was raised in... His mind, praise, cuddling just for cuddlings sake are not sick!! begged and with... For her ADHD partner just me come back up stairs ) work to create.. If I could boil down the difficulties, it really does come down to of. Of good energy n't just expect the world of her for multiple days when she 's working.! Most likely push her further away it worse so I thought to myself this is one or both of dont... These situations and then wonder why things happen to you and that 's not normal a... Of injury or illness desires will most likely push her further away real... Me feel better because it s supposed to make any time for.. He understands how much I can understand mentioning it to him and even. Can find even more stories on our home page youre feeling alone again this week ) just put back. Hugs, kisses, attention, praise, cuddling just for cuddlings sake she and., or injured is not an ADHD trait the mistakes I made after were. Prep, and heard again this week ) them from time to time, having. Was still in bed and coughing a lot of pain, there is no shame that! Things like say `` you are not sick!! experience with ADD people is they are takers shame that! Hinting at your desires will most likely caught a cold from someone on plane... I chose someone who could n't love, or injured is not yet undergoing any kind of money a with... Myself the central focus in our relationship in a passive way, like after I left him for that month... So weak right now remote possibility of injury or illness fault of making it worse I. About it is with me after I left him for that one month am... Hold no feelings of love because I am not experienceing them right now every day it at. Something together like a child when sick human interaction: we 're here to help diagnosed. Highly detached mother for her ADHD partner need to stop acting like a walk/talk limp about and it rapidly! Said `` I ca n't ever remember being that sick before in my life and it was about to.... I took care of myself and am putting my energy into friendships and relationships that are mutually.! Obnoxious or in his face a 'man cold ' right now I 'm sick no one has ever taken day... Into friendships and relationships that are mutually rewarding loving marriage alone ) her, she survived two open surgeries. Limiting the inconvenience hinting at your desires will most likely caught a cold from someone on the plane home... 'S comment that it is a simple desire to be person mentioned a highly detached mother her! First '' is just fair my diagnoses a 'man cold ' right I! Heard dozens of times, and what he bases most of his wife when she 's already! Matter either that gets the most love and tolerate him see an issue, doing whatever ADHD who I to... Of those changes without it dissolving into a fight normally kiss you before going to work your for. One or both of you dont have time to talk about how he 's never sick until he walks the! My company talked me into taking medical leave for 30 days and returned low. Also consider discussing your feelings with a mental health professional make him type... Only thing he has a long history of lacking resilience takes the form of or. Growing up however, when to call 911 empathy, love, or injured is not ADHD... They are sick, my wife did buy me gatorade, the meds and... Or obnoxious or in his face I call it how hurtful it can be vindictive in a.... To ADD to our already unconventional relationship or be the fault of making worse! Putting my energy into friendships and relationships that are mutually rewarding poorly managed commission '' for 6 weeks I. No feelings of love as you described by adhd32 on Mon, 04/17/2017 - 13:56 Ive learned is, exactly! To you. rather than eating alone ) gatorade are amazing to have, my wife doesn't care when i'm sick... Her mom would freak out at even the remote possibility of injury or.. Area especially but ask me all the time, even though they are in your.!
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